We sincerely want them to do well but sometimes we can feel fearful for our ‘territory’ if they seem to be doing better. I’m not insisting we’re all the jealous and controlling type so maybe some of you won’t relate. After all, I am the one claiming to be Mother Truth so it seems I’ve opted to stick my big fat head out and cop to some of the madness filling our heads.
It’s super cute when your baby goes through an ‘I love my Daddy’ stage. After having my second, I even found myself praying the day would come! Typically a baby cries for mom during the first few moments of their lives and a mother’s unique ability to comfort their new creation isn’t just written about, it’s very real. There is no messing with nature.
Through reading and conversations with moms, I’ve learned that the pining for Daddy stage seems to creep up in the second year of their lives… Right about the time your child realizes that you are the Enforcer and Daddy is the BFF.
I started a part-time gig this week. My husband works and I stay home so he hasn’t really had much experience caring for both kids for a full day. While I was having a particularly sensitive first day, he sent me this picture:
The title of the photo read: “Daddy’s do it different”. I laughed out loud while looking at the wreckage that was my living room and it totally made my day. It was my first workday away and he knew that I needed to know that I was missed, that he knew I was better at it, that this baby caring business is no cakewalk. He basically told me with a simple picture that he gets it. That it ain’t easy and that he appreciates the job I do.
My oldest has been Daddy’s girl for the last couple months and it’s sometimes tough to swallow that she isn’t crying for me anymore. Beware of the shallow waters though mommies, tread lightly. We have to be careful not to inject our relationships with toxic jealousy but rather bask in the opportunity for a much-needed and deserved breather.
The reality is that we do so so much because our typical day isn’t just babysitting but it’s laundry service, cleaning service, chef, doctor, teacher and disciplinarian. Daddy will never be Mommy and Mommy will never be Daddy but both are needed equally. Mommy’s do it all and Daddy’s do it different. Sometimes, I wish I could be different too. Thumbs up pops.