“Oh my God, they look EXACTLY like your husband! Absolutely NOTHING like you!” “… And whose gorgeous children are these?” “You don’t even look related!” Or my personal favorite, “I really thought this one was gonna look like you but I was so wrong!”
Seriously? You’ve gotta be a bit of a moron to think that any mom would get a kick out of this kind of inappropriate conviction!
If you can’t already tell, my kids look nothing like me. Surprisingly enough, I’m not blind so therefore plenty aware. I’m not particularly thrilled about it, yet everyone seems to wanna tell me anyway. Odds are if you can see it, I can see it, so it’s highly unlikely that I appreciate your relentless persistence.
My brother-in-law was at the park the other day watching a soccer game and one of the team wives brought her three kids to watch their dad play. An obnoxious woman vigorously approached and before saying hello to the busy mom, she ranted that all three kids look exactly like her husband and then added how adorable they were for good measure. Come on! He was telling me the story and said that the mom of three was visibly annoyed. Ya think?
I was at a wedding this summer and one of my friends was a bridesmaid. She was holding her exquisite one year old daughter who was flower girl for the day. You could see that she was such a proud mom showing off her baby girl at her best. Sadly it didn’t last because she had to endure a whole receiving line of guests insisting that her daughter belonged to someone else. She was really bummed out. It’s just mean.
It’s one thing when your first-born looks like your husband; if said so nicely, it’s quite cute. If your second and even third look more like the neighbor than you, it hurts a little. Must I go through the 9 months, the sleepless nights, the body transformations, the emotional roller coaster, the pain! At the end of it all we would absolutely like to see US in THEM!
To all you moms out there who have clones, this is clearly not for you and congrats because I know how wonderful it feels when a good-hearted liar tells me my kids look like me.
Here’s my advice if you feel the need to break a woman down. Be gentle, say things like: “they really look like their dad but… I can totally tell you’re their mom”, or “they have your smile” or my personal staple, “I can really see a nice mix here!”
We spent an entire year in pregnancy with one thing sticking out among our thoughts… “I wonder what this little angel is gonna look like”. Whatever they look like we’ll love them like mad and that’s the real truth but it’s so so nice to hear they look a little like you! So if they don’t, fine, but be gentle.