Truth #17 – We despise countless suggestions

We know, you care.  We are so grateful for that.  Now let me explain how annoying you are.

Suggestions to pregnant women

Depending on culture or nationality, age or profession, it amazes us that some people suffocate us with ridiculous pregnancy fables.  If they’ve had children of their own, it’s shocking that they actually believed any of this nonsense was true!  Have a craving?  ‘Don’t dare touch your face or your child will have a birthmark precisely there in the shape of that particular food.’  Uh-huh, sure.  ‘You must try everything at the table because the baby might want it’ (even though they can’t see it).  Keep it simple people!  “Limit your caffeine, refrain from getting hammered, sleep while you can, and you look radiant!”. Those things we don’t mind hearing.

Suggestions to new moms

There is no one on Earth more sensitive than a new mom!  She is sleep-deprived, doubting herself and still larger than she wants to be.  She has most likely been reading only the most current developments about everything baby. She may have invested in some sort of birthing or prenatal class where they instructed only useful and documented material!  SO…  In case you aren’t aware, it’s forbidden to just waltz in when her baby is crying (cuz that’s what some do), and throw all kinds of obvious suggestions her way. Everyone wants to be the one to diagnose the problem.  ‘Did you check their temperature, did you change their diaper, they’re hungry, they’re tired, they’re cold’…  It’s craziness.  Stop it!

Suggestions to experienced moms

Unless they’ve asked, say nothing.  Unless they’re in trouble, look the other way. Motherhood is more than a full-time job, it’s an obsession, so naturally nobody knows their baby like mom.  They are seasoned, they are confident, they are real good and they are often being scrutinized by someone somewhere so be careful, it could get ugly.

The lesson

Thanks so much for caring.  If you really have a legitimate solution, shout it out by all means but don’t just state the obvious or the absolutely ridiculous.  We are always tuned in to our kids.  If you’re trying to help, you’re not because it makes us feel that you doubt our ability to react appropriately. Damn right we’re overly sensitive, we are fully admitting it so don’t tick us off by throwing us countless suggestions.

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Photos fromhere and here and here

 

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3 responses to “Truth #17 – We despise countless suggestions

  1. As a pregnant woman..I can TOTALLY relate Nat! I am so annoyed with people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do, eat,blah, blah, blah! Also, I don’t need to know every gory detail about how bad labour is. Granted, there are friends that I have asked out of pure curiosity but that is my own problem. Some people just feel the need to tell me about it, even though I don’t ask! 1 thing I have learned..don’t listen to anyone. Everyone is different and i will deal with it the best way I kinow how. And thanks to your blg, I am much more open minded about a lot of things. Keep em coming!

  2. Thanks Jess!! Love it. Can’t wait to see the bump! You will do fabulous my friend, like only you know how.

  3. Pingback: Truth #46 – We make excuses for bad behaviour | Mother Truth

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