Truth #18 – Number two gets shafted

I’m sure we would love to say that we don’t but we do.  We shaft number two.

The case is made and simple.  The transition between no kids to with baby is so sensational, so drastic.  Life will forever be changed and will never appear similar to prior, not in the least.  The transition into a second child feels somewhat like so…  One was definitely not that hard, sleep dwindled after having just got it back, you are no longer related to the couch and, of course, you could never have imagined you had even more love in that heart of yours.

There are so many reasons why number two gets shafted.  None of which has anything to do with loving them less.

First, you’re not nearly as paranoid.  Watching them sleep with one eye open has turned into ‘now make sure you breathe tonight kid, because you’re on your own.’  Mama needs her sleep.

Second, you’re not nearly as insecure.  You’ve changed thousands of diapers and dealt with fevers, teething, cuts and boo-boos.   You’ve done the reading and you call yourself Dr. Mom.  Don’t get me wrong, you look forward to the appointments for reassurance but you are slightly more dauntless and bold.

Third, you simply don’t have the time.  Number one needs your one on one.  They need to be entertained and challenged as they blossom.  They may need potty training, homework assistance, or a ride to the movies.  Unfortunately number two may sit in a bit of shit for a minute while you’re tending to the needs of the eldest.


You hold them less, you feed them less diligently, you change them less often, you take less pictures and the ones you take include the older one!  You are only human mommy and can’t possibly do it all.  They will be independent and strong because your hands may not have been on their shoulders the whole time.  So try to be less wonderful to number one so you have less to compare yourself to!  As long as you care I can promise you this…  They will grow up with more than enough love to make them fabulous and will have never felt even the slightest bit of shaft.

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4 responses to “Truth #18 – Number two gets shafted

  1. I don’t know…..
    Most number #2’s that i know are bit… off? LOL
    Actually, maybe it’s only when there’s a #3, then #2 really get’s shafted;
    #1 is always breaking the mould, and #3 is the freshest apple in the basket, so #2 is really just…there?

  2. I totally agree with Godfree about the #2’s being “off” when there is a #3
    (I may be speaking about another certain Mazzarelli family member – but I won’t name names since he probably won’t be very happy with me when he reads this)

  3. I very much wanted to tackle the number 3 scenario. I have lots to say about the middle child. BUT, I figured, since I can’t technically speak from experience as I have 2 and come from 2, I’d better not venture there. Moms are a sensitive audience and I prefer to speak from experience. I do however very much appreciate the feedback!

  4. I really needed to read this. In fact, I cried a little bit. Okay, granted, I am 27 weeks pregnant with #2 right now so I’m apt to cry at just about anything, but this is something I worry about. So, thank you. I needed this. And I can’t wait to do this again. =)

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