It took me a while to melt this one down. Hoping as always to be sensitive to all of us super stoked and blessed mommies while trying to do some of our secret feelings justice.
These aren’t thoughts I’ve dreamed up but some that I’ve shared with fellow warriors so please be patient with this delicate discourse.
Sometimes we’re bored. My kids are 3 and 19 months so you may think bored isn’t quite the right word but I think it is. I’m home everyday between 1130 and 3 because my second is napping. No, not for 3 and a half hours but when she’s tired and after she eats. My oldest gets me to herself during that time so between Barbie’s, puzzles, ABC’s and 123’s, I’m left thinking about dinner, dirty floors, and laundry, of course. We’re bored because multiplied by 365 save a few, it can be a long ass lonely day.
Sometimes we’re proud. Our babies grow up so fast! They make us laugh hysterically, and cry often. Nobody gets to witness how forever changing they are except for us and although that’s fantastic and makes us feel a whole new level of special, we’re alone in it most of the time. Only two of us were there, us and them.
Sometimes we’re not lonely enough. As lonely as we may feel, we’re never actually alone. Centuries past have spoken to us about how we’re less in need of alone time because that is a mother’s nature yet at times, we are bulging at the seams to be able to slam the door, breathe the air and drink the wine, yet when we really need it, it’s seldom possible.
The stay-at-home mom is a heroine, not unlike the working mom doing so to feed her children but she has true time alone. She has a moment to lunch, a moment to shit, and a moment to bitch to a grown-up. The Mother Truth is that there is NO job more rewarding than lovingly and actively participating in the growth of our children and although most of us wouldn’t change a thing, it’s a little lonely sometimes.
Well said. “Lonely” really does sum it up, a lot of the time. It’s hard to fill in Daddy on all those little triumphs you had the pleasure of being a part of… Equally hard to explain why you didn’t bother to shower! Or, why you’re pulling your hair out come 4pm 😉
AND as a “back to work” mommy, you’re right – it’s a break. As awful as that may sound, my hat is off to all of you who have chosen to stay home for a wee bit longer 🙂