Truth #5 – We participate in milestone competition

My daughter started to walk about a week after her 1st birthday.  I remember being bummed out because she wasn’t walking at her party for everyone to see.  Actually, I remember dragging her around by one arm forcing her to show everyone that she’s almost there.  I feel sick to my stomach admitting to that.

A little girl down the street was stepping lively at 10 months and my friend’s baby was chasing girls at his first birthday party.  The truth is, the average baby takes their first steps between 12 and 15 months but it doesn’t seem to matter.  The day your child turns one, people start asking with concern or telling you about their overachiever.  I’ve actually had someone tell me that they themselves were walking at 9 months.  Bravo Loser!  Not just random people are doing the interrogating but unfortunately your family, and not in a nice way, as though your tiny human didn’t meet their unrealistic expectations.  It’s so shameful and I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve participated!

So why do we participate?  Simple.  We want our kids to be talked about in a good way, seen in a favorable light, set the bar.  We don’t want negative thoughts directed at them.  We are also consumed with concern about their timely development.  Those damn books again!

Unless you’re an MD, don’t ask the development questions.  If they’re not walking around your ankles, it should be obvious that they haven’t mastered the art yet!  If they’re still in diapers, that’s probably where they crap!  If they can’t say M-A-M-A or D-A-D-A, then it’s highly likely that baby babble is still where it’s at!  It’s safe to say that us mothers know these things already and we don’t need you reminding us.  Unfortunately we’re thinking the same things and we can sense that you are too!

So many of us attend the baby races so let’s tone it down!  After all, after they start walking, they’ll start running… away from you!

Photos from here and here

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6 responses to “Truth #5 – We participate in milestone competition

  1. AMEN Nat! The competitive banter needs to stop and moms and families should support. Unfortunately, as a teacher, you see the competition between parents continue as their children compete in sports and extra curricular activities. Why does everyone’s kid have to be the best?? The kids don’t really care.

  2. Sara Pepperall /Turner

    I remember I couldn’t wait for both my girls to walk..your right why do we rush them because now that they are getting older I sometimes wish I could just cradle them again..Take one day at a time and enjoy every crazy moment.

  3. Kristy Carbonara

    AHHHH someone that shares the same opinion as I do when it comes to other people sharing their stories of their babies walking early. My oldest daughter didn’t start walking until she was a week shy of 18mths…that’s right she wasn’t 9mths or even a year! I remember taking her to the dr. and asking him what was wrong with her and he looked at me and laughed. There wasn’t anything wrong with her and still isn’t-we are all different and do things at our own pace! I now have a second daughter who is weeks away from her 1st birthday and I could care less that she just stared crawling. I want to keep her as “babylike” as long as I can. I’m not having any more babies and they grow up too fast!

  4. BABY RACES!!!!! As they are affectionately known in our house. I admit to feeling slighted if another kid did something ‘big’ before mine did. Thankfully, we were the first amongst our friends to have kids, so our track and field events were against the preschool mums, who I really had nothing to do with other than our kids being at the same school. My reputation remains intact with our nearest and dearest who have only just started having their bubs, whereas we are up to number four. I have it out of my system now and can completely rejoice in their children’s milestones with absolute joy and no competitiveness. Much nicer.

  5. Pingback: Truth #41 – It hurts to see a fitter skinnier mom | Mother Truth

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